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what I plan to get done today:

  • clean the whole house so I can enjoy my kid free weekend with cory

probably what will happen today:

  • fighting with chandler to take a nap just to get the dishes done
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When we took the boys for their check ups the other day their doctor raised an interesting point:

Why are parents so quick to take the recognition for their children’s accomplishments?

When we were potty learning Connor you can bet your sweet butt that I was proud. I was proud not because I had taught him to use the potty, I was proud because he was able to recognize having to go the bathroom and act accordingly. Just like when we weaned him from the bottle. I wasn’t proud because I had endured countless nights without sleep, I was proud because we were able to find a method to get him to not only sleep through the night but to do so without a bottle. I was proud because his brain was maturing, I wasn’t proud of my efforts because, lets be real: most time my efforts are fruitless and I’m often stuck in a cycle of frustration.

What I’ve seen a lot in being a mom, and being surrounded by other moms, is that we often forget that our children are so much more than squishy balls of love to hug on. We forget that they are people with a different comprehension of our own. Like, with potty learning. Children are taught that if they poop in their diapers mommy will clean it up and after a bit of mild inconvenience they get to go play. Assuming that you start potty learning at two you have to realize that that’s two whole years of conditioning that you have to change. Literally their entire lives they have comprehended that pooping in a diaper is the way to go. (lets face it if there was someone that would wipe my butt I’d never stop for bathroom breaks.)

When it comes to teaching a new skill or ability we are literally changing what they have known for their entire lives. It’s all their brains have known and now we’re changing it. We’re changing it for a multitude of reasons.

"It’s just time."
"This is how I planned things going."
"Everyone else did it at this age."

What we fail to understand is that the reasoning behind these schedules isn’t something that our children can quite comprehend yet. Yes, children understanding basic reasoning. “This peg is round and fits in the round hole. After trail and error I will only put it in the round hole.”

They know that the stove is hot, they know that the cat will scratch them if they’re mean, they know that if I scream loud enough they will get what they want.

But complex reasoning such as “this is how everyone else does it so you have to do it to,” isn’t something they can quite comprehend yet.

So when you force an entire new way of life on your children you (like me) get stuck in that frustrating cycle of “my God just do it my way!” But apprehension and frustration swings both ways and children are quite prone to having iron walls to prevent them from doing anything other than what they want to do.

So after we fight and struggle and cry and moan we finally get what we want and suddenly, “I DID IT!” It’s not a bad thing, it’s normal. But the thought that’s missing is, “my child has advanced in comprehension and was able to accept a life change that will better them in the long run.”

YOU didn’t do anything. YOU already know that you don’t need a bottle. YOU already know not to shit your pants. YOU have already had your minds altered because that’s what your parents did for you when you were your child’s age.

YOUR CHILD is the one who took this skill and used it. YOUR CHILD is the one who altered their life style and adapted to change. YOUR CHILD is the one who did the work. You simply facilitated the walk way. You gave them the steps, but THEY utilized them. See what I’m saying?

So just remember that the next time you want to say, “Oh I potty trained them in six months!” No. You didn’t. THEY learned how to use the potty in six months thanks to the help of mom/dad. 

There IS a difference between being PROUD and TAKING CREDIT. You can be proud, you can sing the high heavens about your baby’s new skill. Praise them and hug them and kiss them for the good things that they do. But don’t condition YOURSELF into thinking that you did the hard part, because you didn’t.

Annnnd yeah.

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I friended a bunch of army wives from the coin event and all of them keep posting ISIS wouldn’t be in our country if we had stronger leadership and we need to impeach Obama.

I really just want to go share a bunch of being liberal posts and see how many people unfriend me…..

Were they using impeach meaning “to kick out” because they’re wrong. Sooooo wrong about that word.

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just because i don’t follow u back doesn’t mean i think u have a shitty blog. you might just have posts/fandoms/stuff i don’t really want on my dash. and hey, that’s fine. it’s YOUR tumblr you’re here for you and that’s goodgreatawesome

but please don’t think me not following you back means i hate u 5ever and that u can never inbox me or reply to my posts or follow me on twitter or something b/c that is not what it means at all

(Source: rururupansansei)

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When did you guys stop using high chairs?


I’m curious.

Once connor got the hang of utensils that’s when we retired our high chair :) he was almost two

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Nothing like your one year old putting you in your place and forcing you to the foot of your bed so he can sleep in your spot.

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how do you find out if someone is still married without paying stupid amounts of money?

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Ok so I can’t add/linked blogs after I drafted it.

The remaining hot Mommas:

I’m just messin ;) no big deal I promise lol

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